so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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