just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
