i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Use "feeling words"
Yay
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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