I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Screwed.edu
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
