pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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