laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
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