A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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