There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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