OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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