Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
