That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
