Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
