So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize