Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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