I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
