it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
