too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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