Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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