oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
