Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
