remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
