I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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