Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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