He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
