Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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