It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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