In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
