so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
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He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize