Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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