found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
