I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I look better un-naked...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
