White coat. Heels.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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