Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
