I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
