I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Two words: nipple clamps
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