I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
