i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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