the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
My life is pants optional.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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