mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Congratulations! We have a period
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