he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I came so hard my ears popped.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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