I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize