I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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