Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
