I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
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I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
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Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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