I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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