My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize