My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
