why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
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