it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
