Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
