He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize