I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
