sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
