you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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