I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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