seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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