he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize