His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
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