will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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