my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize