Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
