I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Blow job season was short but glorious.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
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