I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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