Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
