If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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