i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
