Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
