I think I died a long time ago.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
